There is one thing more than anything else that explains all male and female emotional and behavioural differences.

One thing?!   Really?!

Yes, really.

As I am telling you about this one thing in in the Sex 1.0 section of the blog, I will talk in this chapter about how this one thing worked in a Sex 1.0 era but it’s impact on the present day will become clear too in later posts.

When you read as far as the Sex 2.0 section of the blog, I will talk at that point about how the shift from Sex 1.0 to Sex 2.0 somewhat changed it.

Without knowing about this one thing, or knowing about it but later forgetting about it when drawing your map, it might seem like men and women are from different planets but we are not.

Men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus.  Men are from Earth, women are from Earth.

So what is this one thing?

The Genetic Imperative

When I say “the genetic imperative” I simply mean the most efficient method possible for propagating one’s own DNA.

The most efficient biological self-preservation strategy.

As men and women are biologically different, we have radically different genetic imperatives.

Once pregnant, and presuming that the pregnancy goes the full term, women cannot produce another viable egg for approximately 9-10 months.

Men can produce sperm however on a constant basis pausing only for what is called the refractory period which is the recovery phase after male ejaculation during which it is physiologically impossible for men to further ejaculate.

Women have no such refractory period and can often achieve further orgasms through further stimulation.

As men can produce sperm on pretty much a constant basis and women have a minimum 9-10 month pause before they become fertile again during which time they are physically more vulnerable, less mobile and require more care, the genetic imperatives for the sexes are radically different and go like this :

Men = Have sex with lots of fertile females

Women = Seek high quality alpha male DNA and physical protection and security for both self and child.

Now the genetic imperative is not something that is specific to human beings.  Mammals, where the female gestates the egg for months and males can constantly produce sperm will have typically have the same genetic imperative.

The female need for security and protection, of course, is only heightened by the child rearing responsibility which women historically have carried the burden of.

Sizing The Prize

One things that humans share with all sexual species is that we “size the prize”.

That is to say that people not only “size up” potential mates according to how well they might be able to satisfy their genetic imperatives but they also size up themselves and their own value in the sexual marketplace.

The differing genetic imperatives in the Sex 1.0 era meant that men and women were naturally attracted by different things in a Sex 1.0 world.

Men?  Signs of fertility and physical attractiveness in women.  Men have always valued signs of fertility in women like youth, beauty and curves in all the right places.

Women?  The most alpha genes and best provision of security for self and child.

These differing imperatives also meant that men and women naturally sought different things.

Broadly speaking, the differing genetic imperatives dictated that men have always sought to entice women into sex and women have always sought to entice men into commitment.

The Alpha Male

Social animals like human beings have always had higher ranking members in any particular social group or tribe.

The alpha male in a Sex 1.0 world would have been a leader.  Strong, capable, skilled at hunting and gathering.  Capable of providing and protecting.  Respected by the other members of the tribe which is why social proof is something, even today, that women find very attractive.

Other attractive and alpha qualities are pre-selection.  There is nothing more desirable to a women than a man that other women desire.

Alpha males are, by their very nature, dominant.

The Beta Male

Lacking in strength, leadership qualities, social proof and pre-selection.

Too weak or scared to challenge the dominance of the alpha male.

Lacking in leadership qualities, dominance, social proof and pre-selection.

Beta males are, by their very nature, pussies.

Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth

The differing genetic imperatives not only causes unhealthy thinking, like men and women are from different planets, it causes all kinds of “I don’t get it” moments for both men and women.

These “I don’t get it” moments about the opposite sex are often caused by not understanding the differing genetic imperatives at work in not just the opposite sex but in themselves.

Example?  Men typically love competitive sports, both playing and watching, and might spend a great deal of time during their lives supporting their favourite team.

Sports stadiums around the world are filled with both men and women but, as you and I both know, it’s mostly men.

There are plenty of women I have spoken too who say that they don’t “see the point” of things like football.  That they don’t “get it” nor do they understand that they are actually the root cause of it.

They are totally unaware that the very existence of competitive sports is as a direct result of the female genetic imperative.

The female genetic imperative dictates that the alpha or, in other words, the man or men in the tribe who are the leaders, the best, the most dominant, the winners are sexually desirable.  They are what women sought in a Sex 1.0 world and what they were attracted to.

The winner is seen as the “last man standing”, an obviously desirable quality for a woman seeking to satisfy her genetic imperative not only be protected, but for her children to have good survival genes.  This imperative is still primary in women in the modern day.

I have personally witnessed women go into a state of awe-struck fandom when famous football players are spotted in a nightclub and immediately phoned their female friends with the news and the instructions to immediately come and join them even though these exact same women “don’t see the point” of football and are not inclined to either go to or to watch games.

Some men “don’t get” this.

The reason why women swooning over football players whilst having no interest in football is very easy to understand when you understand that to compete and dominate is not really part of the female psycho-sexual landscape but attraction to the alpha very much is.

The only competition that is part of the female psycho-sexual landscape is competing with other women over the alpha which is the root cause of female-on-female cattiness and bitchiness between women and which is why women often call each other “slag” or “tramp” or some other derisory term in the face of female competition.

As a result of “the winners” being desired by women, men quite rightly as a response, have always derived great enjoyment from all kinds of sporting competitions and battles of dominance.

It’s a guy thing.

Another example?  At the World Series Of Poker, ever year in Las Vegas the (mostly male) poker commentators wring their hands and bemoan the fact that such a small percentage of entrants into the competition are female.

They don’t get it.

After all, it is a competition that is open to all.  They ponder what can be done to make poker more attractive to women.

What can be done?  Well, change the genetic imperative and completely rewrite human nature would be the solution.  Good luck with that.

Another example?  Video game designers (again, mostly male) have historically struggled with designing video games that appeal to women.  Why are they not so interested in blowing stuff up and beating up or killing off opponent’s characters as we are?

They don’t get it.

Woman enjoy overcoming challenges every bit as much as men do but they are not interested in dominating and destroying so much so it’s not a coincidence that the most popular video games for women are games like the following :

Tetris.  A puzzle game which does not involve dominating and defeating an opponent.

World Of Warcraft.  A game in which people form tightly knit guilds or social groups, forge human interactions and work co-operatively on common goals, missions and objectives.  Overcome challenges together.

Wii Fit – A game that makes exercise fun and helps keep them looking and feeling good.  Helps them get or maintain signs of youth and beauty.

Guitar Hero / Rock Band type games – Games in which you can play together with your friends in a party atmosphere and co-operate on “playing” songs well and working as a team to make the band a success.

Whilst on the subject of video games it’s interesting to note that men who play video games are typified as nerdy and beta.

Alpha men enjoy video games just as much as beta men do but I believe that the reason that men who play video games are typified as nerdy is that video games allow beta males to indulge in alpha type dominance in a completely safe environment sheltered from the real world.  Often they will do so as a way of consoling and comforting themselves over real-world failures.

“Ok so I may be 34 years old, live in my mom’s basement and don’t have a girlfriend but my level 15 warlock will destroy you on the internet !!”

Of course, even though alphas really enjoy video games too, they get less free time to play them because they are busy having sex.

In summary, men and women don’t “get” each other in many cases as a result of not understanding the differing genetic imperatives or by projecting the imperative of their own sex onto the opposite sex.

Later in this blog we will see examples of how the mapping misreads when it comes to our differing genetic imperatives impacts our modern day sexual relationships.


  • Martin

    Not only is this spot on but, not recognising this, is one of the biggest pitfalls in modern western life in my opinion.

  • Maximus

    “Of course, even though alphas really enjoy video games too, they get less free time to play them because they are busy having sex.”

    This made me lol.

  • Tara

    Spot on!

  • Jenna P

    JJ cutting through the bullshit once more.

    Nice post.

  • Great, the genetic imperative frame cuts to the roots of the gender difference. Social constructions follow from these biological facts, not the other way around as many people tend to think these days.

  • Ectasy, exactly. Believing that gender is a social construct is a alarmingly common mapping error.

  • First of all both men and women have to be consistent with the sexuality of each other. Men and women must be consistent with the society and the social constructions such as family. In this case major problem is poor consistence with the sexuality and the social constructions of both men and women.

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  • wingwoman

    I love Tetris but I also once made it to round 21 of Duck Hunt before my finger went numb and I missed one. Most of the shooter game players I know are guys who are in the military and have some practice irl. Most of my game player friends who aren’t play football or guitar hero type games.

    Picking the *most alpha doesn’t asure diddle. Pre selection makes someone less desirable because they would be more likely to leave or have to split resources with other off spring ( conter productive from your own opinion as stated above) I think most of the problem is 1) assumptions instead of communication 2) people not doing enough self relflection and knowing what they want.
    *alpha traits are dependant 0n enviromental (societal ) conditions and can/do change Anyone can shoot anyone or get in a car crash etc so the pyshical traits are somewhat less important beyond basic health and not being repulsively fugly. Living in a complex society where more factors come in to play and deserved to be weighed in to any formula or understanding.
    Most people want insurance not security. Security is mostly an illusion. People want to calculate the risk and minimize it but in most cases it’s still a risk. Self preservation /= procreation. For example I might die if I have childern , men never have to take that risk and not seem to think of it much. It’s the female equivalent of jumping on a gernade and hoping it’s a dud or it only does a little damage but doesn’t kill you.