Strange thing for a guy who wrote a book about sexual relationships to say huh?

Well, most books about relationships suck for the same reason that a significant percentage of relationship counselors are less than useless. They are Sex 2.0 apologists.

We all grow up in a Sex 2.0 world where your maps of how sexual relationships are supposed to work are totally screwed around with before you ever even have a chance to put them to use.

When people are old enough to put them to use and they find that crash and burn in relationships more often then not, one of the things that they turn to are books about relationships.

Unfortunately, books about relationships promote all kinds of scurrilous notions. The worst culprits will tell you that a sexual relationship is like a plant. They will tell you that plants water, they need sunlight, they need plant food, they need tending and devoted care and that if you don’t make the effort, they will die.

In short they will promote the idea that relationships are supposed to be hard work.

No they are not. Relationships are not supposed to be hard work. They are supposed to be self sustaining.

How much hard work do you have to put in to maintain your friendships? OK, even your best friend might occasionally piss you off but a bit of communication here, a misunderstanding resolved there and then you are good for the next 6 months.

The notion that results in sexual relationships are correlated with the amount of work that you put into them is ridiculous. We are not digging a hole where the effort of 2 men digging 8 hours produces 4 times greater results than 1 man digging for 4 hours.

If this were the case then a nightmare relationship with a partner that required constant maintenance and left you physically and mentally shattered would yield great results.

To get into a position where you are a relationship counselor or a professional advice giver you need to be not only a sex 2.0 apologist but a professionally trained one.

On top of that, there is a conflict of interest. If you don’t have problems like jealousy, possessiveness and so on then they don’t have a job. Relationships that require constant maintenance means return business if you are a relationship counselor.

Word to the wise – relationships are not plants.