Ahhhh the blaming of love. …

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game
– Amy Winehouse

Well this must be true surely?  After all this song won in the category Best Song Musically and Lyrically at the 2008 Ivor Novello awards.

I can imagine what the judges were thinking when they were evaluating the lyrical content of the song before giving it the award “So true Amy, so true” … except that it is not.

Love, which incidentally is probably the single most abused and misused word in language, simply means the deep emotional need for the well-being of another. Certainly unrequited love is painful and a love that can never be fulfilled is painful albeit in a romantic kind of way (think the ending of the movie Titanic).

If it is reciprocal and it’s not left unfulfilled, how can something as simple as the deep emotional need for the well-being of another be a losing game?

It can’t.

However, when it comes to the game of relationships and romantic entanglements the game is most certainly rigged against you; just like the house games in a casino.

And, just like in a casino, it is possible to win but when you do so it is not because of the odds but rather in spite of the odds.

Most people play the game their entire lives without ever realising that the game is rigged and that the tables are not tilted in their favour. What follows, more often than not is a lifetime of serial monogamy interspersed with periods of being sick of the relationship game and taking a break before ploughing on in desperate search of “the one”.


Each relationship failure resulting in the blaming of the opposite sex, the blaming of love (after all, love is a losing game, right?) or a blaming of oneself and the desperate feeling of self-hatred and inadequacy that often accompanies it. What the hell is wrong with me?  Am I not enough? What am I missing? Why the hell can’t I hold a relationship together?


Either that or marriage often followed by the realisation that marriage is not what they thought it would be and either an eventual infidelity, divorce or both.

Married couples that do stay together are often not happy with their situation either (except for the first few years) but are not unhappy enough to divorce. Move along folks, there is nothing to see here, just another relationship to be filed under the category “married and miserable”.

Not being happy being married but not being unhappy enough to want to leave is not exactly optimal strategy either when playing the game either.

And yet, this is how the game is played … madness.

The greatest madness of all though is not in the playing of the game, it is in not realising that the game is rigged against you in the first place.

The madness is in constantly returning to the Sex 2.0 casino when you run out a loser every time. Would you keep going back to a casino where the game is rigged against you?

Why is the game rigged against you?  Because it is being played out all over the world by the Sex 2.0 rulebook, that’s why.

The disconnect and dissonance that we caused ourselves in the move from Sex 1.0 to Sex 2.0 is still reverberating loud and clear in society today in every culture that embraces and promotes 2.0. It is never, ever, ever going to go away until we move on from 2.0.

Love is not a losing game.

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
2.0 is a losing game

Read more : What is love?