As I said in this blog post, men and women have radically different primary genetic imperatives due to the fact that women get pregnant and men don’t.
Men only have one primary genetic imperative which is:
- Have sex with lots of fertile women
Whereas women have two primary genetic imperatives:
- Seek high quality alpha male DNA and physical protection and security
for both self and child.
- Seek a partner who can provide financial security for self and children.
Prevent other women from diluting such arrangement.
Because of this dual genetic imperative, when women first meet a guy who they regard as an attractive potential suitor they will either consciously or sub-consciously place him in one of two categories – a good catch or a fuck-able guy.
I should stress that, of course it is possible for a guy to be both, but that is not going to stop women from placing you in one of these two categories when they first meet you.
1. A good catch
If a guy falls into this category, women will see them as boyfriend material or possible boyfriend material and will want to date them over a period of time before sleeping with them. In other words, they will often delay their own sexual gratification and will not hop into bed with a guy quickly, even though they might want to, for fear of being regarded as “too easy” and not potential girlfriend material.
A good catch is essentially a provider role which is more likely to be satisfied by a beta male. Alpha males, who are more likely to have an abundance mentality when it comes their sexual options with women, are less likely to be interested in the provider role within the framework of an exclusive relationship.
2. A fuck-able guy
If you fall this category, women won’t see the need to date you over a period of time before sex. They will want to fuck you just because you are a fuck-able guy. Guys who fall into this category are essentially appealing to women’s primary imperative which is the need for the alpha male.
The guys who fall into this category are prized for qualities like their strong personalities, confidence, social and / or physical dominance, independence and lack of supplication or neediness.
The Formation Of The Friend Zone
As women’s two imperatives require the need for both an alpha male and a provider male women, when they find themselves faced with a guy who is interested in them and whom they are considering, the evaluation process (which maybe sub-subconscious or subconscious) often goes like this:
As we can see from the flowchart the need for the alpha goes first. As human beings have spent almost the entirety of their existence in the Sex 1.0 era, this is the more important of the two imperatives for women because it is the most deeply rooted in human nature.
The fuck-able guy role is the only one of the three roles shown in the flowchart above that is not a provider role as it is a role that satisfies women’s need for the alpha male.
The other two roles are both provider roles with boyfriend being the primary provider male.
Guys who find themselves being stuck in the friend-zone become providers of emotional support; a form of emotional tampon if you like. A reserve tank of potential suitors for the role of provider male.
It’s not really possible for women to have a reserve tank for the role of alpha male. Alpha males don’t stick around when they don’t get what they want, especially when their abundance mentality when it comes to women tells them that they can easily get it elsewhere.
Guys who find themselves stuck in the friend-zone have a choice at this point to either stick around and become beta-male orbiters – guys who loiter and orbit in her social circle for months or even years just for a shot at becoming primary provider male – or to move on.
Welcome to the friend zone … population you
The chances of a beta-male orbiter fulfilling the fuck-able guy role – even after months or years of waiting – is zero at this point as no alpha male would accept the lowly status of an orbiter and women know it.
Men Don’t Have a Friend Zone
As for guys, why don’t we have a friend zone? Well, because we only have one imperative that’s why.
We are interested in fertile women with the most obvious signs of fertility being facial beauty, youth and curves in all the right places. We really don’t care about anything else when it comes to determining what is sexy in a woman and what is not.
If a woman is cute, we don’t care if she is a high flying lawyer or if she works at McDonalds. We really could not care less as we have no primary imperative related to provision of financial security.
Hence we have no need for a reserve tank of potential suitors for the role of provider female. Such a role does not exist as part of the male primary sexual imperatives. It’s not part of male psycho-sexuality.
That’s why men don’t have a friend zone.