As regular readers of Sex 3.0 already know, women are not that difficult to understand, they only have two primary genetic imperatives after all when it comes to men:

1. The need for the alpha male
2. The need for the provider male

The more powerful of these two imperatives is the need for the alpha male for the simple reason that it is the most biologically deeply rooted of the two.

It’s been around since the very beginning of humanity whereas the provider male, in the material sense at least, has only been around since the invention of property at the beginning of the Sex 2.0 era.

In that sense the true attraction for women is the alpha male, not the “bad boy”.

Unlike a true alpha male, a bad boy frequently displays beta male qualities like envy, jealousy and possessiveness all of which are rooted in scarcity, insecurity and / or fear of loss.

Sometimes these negative qualities are expressed violently towards women which is also beta male behaviour – true alpha males don’t hit women unless they are attacked.

However, at least the bad boy mimics some of the good qualities of the true alpha male like the following 5.

1. Lack of supplication.

You know those guys who love to supplicate women? Facebook brings them to the surface. The say “wow” or “great” or “amazing” to every seemingly trivial status update a women makes.

They coo “beautiful” or “gorgeous” at every photo she takes with her camera photo whilst pouting in the mirror.

Of course women enjoy the ego boost of receiving un-earned compliments and having an army of beta males orbiting them. They just don’t want to fuck those guys.

Bad boys don’t supplicate. They neither lower themselves in that way nor do they make the mistake of putting pussy on a pedestal.

Every compliment has to be hard earned. It is a rarely given and it boy is it a treat for her when it is given! She coos inwardly as she outwardly comments “Wow, a compliment. That’s not like you. What’s gotten into you today?”

Like all things which need to earned, it is valued and the constant stream of supplication she received from beta males, like all things that are given too easily, are not valued.

2. Dominance

As the current obsession with Fifty Shades of Grey shows, women have a thing for dominance and dominant men to say the least.

Note : The reason why Fifty Shades Of Grey is so successful because it taps into the fantasy of a beta provider male that can provide dominance too.  I may go into this is more detail in a separate post.

In real life, a supplicating beta male might make a decent provider male but would be a poor provider of dominance.  It takes a bad boy or an alpha male to provide dominance as part of his true nature.

3. Strength

There is a reason that women prefer their male lovers to be taller than them. I have had sex with women of all heights (well ok, not midgets). Even the taller ones, after sex, will move down the bed so they can lovingly place their heads on my shoulder.

There is a comfort for women in feeling that the man that she is with is a dominant pillar of strength.

Women absolutely despise weakness in men. They will never let it go unpunished. Take a look at the army of henpecked beta males being dragged around your local shopping malls.

A bad boy would never allow any women to treat him like that unless he is a thoroughly tamed, de-clawed and castrated bad boy. Of course at this point they take his bad boy membership card and throw him out of the bad boy club.

4. Confidence

Self-belief, swagger, call it what you will – women find it damn attractive. It’s listed near or at the top of pretty much every survey or opinion poll done to find out what women find attractive in a man.

When you cut through the bullshit, confidence is simply a belief in one’s own power.

A confident man is practically a walking talking advert for his lack of supplication, dominance and strength – all areas where the beta male is sadly wanting.

No bad boy can ever be considered a true bad boy without swagger and confidence. It’s practically his calling card – the very essence of a true bad boy.

5. Challenging

Women love a challenge; a project that they can really get their teeth into.

Why do you think that murders and serial killers get a deluge of “fan mail” in jail? Women have a need to nurture and the badder the bad boy, the more it brings it out of them.

What project could be more challenging than trying to see the good in a bad boy? Ok it might be dangerous for her if she tries it but don’t underestimate a woman’s ability to find danger to be exciting; to find the thrill in it, the rush. To kind of rush that no beta male could ever provide for her.

Women love a challenge; to try to get him to change his bad boy ways – to tame him, to de-claw him. To find the nice guy that she knows exists deep, deep inside him if only she can get him to change his bad boy ways.

The final irony is that if she succeeds and manages to tame him, she will run in the opposite direction as fast as possible because what she found attractive in the first place is now gone.

Either that or the next time you see them both, he will part of the army of henpecked beta males being dragged around by her at your local shopping mall.

Further reading : Love Cheats Pose Greater STI Risk Than Unfenced Relationships


  • As you know JJ, you and I agree on most things you right. I have expressed many of the exact same sentiments that you expressed in this piece. When you said, “The final irony is that if she succeeds and manages to tame him, she will run in the opposite direction as fast as possible because what she found attractive in the first place is now gone,” I was like “Wow.” I said almost that exact statement at The Direct Dating Summit in Las Vegas in mid-March 2012.

    Great read.