Guest Post by Ryan Orrock
So, today I was told I am ‘trouble, charming, and cute’.
Trouble. By someone who has never met me or spent five minutes in the same room with me.
This beautiful woman said she didn’t want to become part of my “harem”. With no knowledge about how many sexual partners I have, how my relationships work, with nothing to go on but my Facebook wall.
I said I would like to meet and I liked her energy. She said I was trouble. And then she asked immediately what kind of relationship I wanted.
Huh? I said I enjoy your energy and want to meet. I didn’t say I wanted ‘a relationship’ (which I don’t believe exists—have you ever seen one?) I didn’t say I wanted sex. Or touch. Or anything. I just said I wanted to meet.
And I get labelled as trouble. Accused of having a harem.
I dug a little deeper. I reminded her of her ex. And I was attractive. And he did things she didn’t like. Ergo, I definitely would too. Hence the label: I’m trouble.
See the problem there?
When we were children, we related to others free of concepts, ideas, past history…every person was a completely new experience, a new playmate to be enjoyed. And if we didn’t enjoy playing with them, we stopped.
Very, very simple.
But then we were taught how dangerous ‘strangers’ are (actually just friends we haven’t met yet). We were promised that, even though we got little touch, love, affection, and empathy as children and teens (or was this only me?) that one day we would meet this ‘magical person’ who would give us everything we were missing.
And we meet that person. And they can’t. And don’t. And we are disappointed. We feel betrayed.
And we were betrayed. But not by this person. By the promises of society about this person.
And then we close ourselves off to connection, friendship, and play with hundreds of people through our lifetime because we have these artificial ideas in our heads about how people should be and the fear we have learned that they won’t fulfil those expectations.
What if we could go back to meeting people as they are? With no agenda? No expectation? Not planning or wondering what the future will hold?
With that playful, curious, innocent, relaxed energy we had as children?
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Or am I the only one who wants this world?